For a lot of folk the beginning of a New Year is about fresh starts and self discovery. Having gone through another year people have a tendency to think back and reflect on what worked and what didn’t. For others a natural focus is directed towards reinventing their look, usually backed up by splashing out on Christmas sales and indulging in a new wardrobe. Most common at this time of year, people are feeling burdened by the weight of their good intentions and unrealistic goals that linger on from the years before. When people are quickly realising just how fast time has flown and how unproductively it may have been used. With all this in mind, my next few articles are going to offer tips on how you can make 2010 your best year yet. Get comfortable and be ready to absorb.
Think about your attitude to your life. When you look in the mirror and think about all that has got you to where you stand today, how do you feel? However you may feel will most definitely be reflected in the life you are living today. Psychologists have long said that ‘perception equals reality’. If you think positive things, you should feel proud of yourself, for in that moment you are displaying gratitude. Appreciation for where you are regardless of the hurdles and hiccups. If you feel negative, you need to know that in the moment you confirm to yourself that you are not enough, you loose the motivation to create for a better life. The attitude and thoughts you have about yourself will ultimately shape the direction your life has taken and will take. Do not shy away from having a positive outlook about and toward yourself. Positive thinking does not mean you have a relentlessly jolly stance. It is the belief that you can achieve anything by believing in it enough and being mindful that it is about a whole set of thinking patterns and behaviours that add up to a way of looking at life that is hopeful and resilient. Managing our attitude can have profound effects, not just on our moods, but on our relationships, achievements and health. Let go of any misunderstanding that surrounds the expression ‘Positive thinking’ and remember that this approach is about you and your betterment not anybody else. Holding onto negativity around positivity is simply unhelpful – to you!
Remember that if you believe you deserve something good, you become more motivated to aim for it. Whatever your goals, a positive outlook can help you achieve them. Listen to what you are telling yourself. It’s estimated that we say between 200 to 300 words a minute to ourselves in our minds. This is an internal dialogue that we have all the time. So much so that it becomes a ‘noise’ that we get used to hearing and could not imagine what it would be like if it suddenly stopped. The things you tell yourself will have a direct impact on your attitude, confidence and self esteem. Even the most confident person will feel low and down about themselves if their internal dialogue turns negative. Understanding the impact of what we tell ourselves is very important as this conversation will ultimately shape the way we see the world. So, it is fundamental that your words are positive and realistic.
A lot of people come to think spa London and complain that they can not manage their negative self talk. What I advise is very simple. The most powerful nugget is to know for a fact that you are in control of how you feel so to not be at the mercy of what you think. For example, you may think ‘No one likes me’ or ‘People are always talking about me’ or ‘Nothing I want to do will ever work out’. If we controlled what we were telling ourselves by filtering out unhelpful comments and thoughts, we decide what we end up listening to. It is about creating choices for ourselves by not having an all or nothing attitude. Buddha stated ‘All that we are is the result of what we have thought’.
Lastly, to manage your mind and what you are telling yourself you need to stop running around and find some quiet space for yourself, alone in a calm environment. If you struggle to find this at home, go to a meditation centre, library, quiet coffee shop or a friends or relatives place. Close you eyes for 10 to 15 minutes and just listen and realise. You may want to write down what you are telling yourself, or just take note. Then visualise a volume dial in your mind and notice what level it is on, what you will probably find is that it is on quite high. Use the power and resilience in your mind to watch that dial decrease in volume, try getting it to zero. Notice the calm that you feel and make a commitment to revisit that if the negative thoughts get too loud.
Good Luck!