As a Psychologist at Think spa London I often get a feeling that many of my clients are in danger of wasting their lives worrying about the little things. Often magnifying small obstacles into giant mountains. Little things that in the grand scheme of things are not as serious as initially assumed. If this sounds familiar, you may have noticed physical feelings of stress and anxiety, shallow breathing and general irritability. Below are some simple things that you can start to think about to help yourself get closer to being happy – now.
Start firstly with the basics. Sleep at a respectful time and eat decent food. Sounds basic but is most beneficial. If you do this, you will very quickly notice the positive impact it has on your state of mind We are what we eat they say, and I have seen this to be true. Watch what you put into yourself as it is a direct reflection of how much respect you have for your well being and body. In relation to sleep, when you start to feel tired, do not ignore this, even if it is earlier then your usual time of sleep, listen to your body when it is telling you it needs to rest. If you have trouble switching off grab a piece of paper and write down all your thoughts. This is called a ‘brain dump’ and is known to be very helpful in helping one let go of the day. Lighten the mind by realizing all thoughts, good and bad before you ay to rest.
Drink lots of water so you are hydrated and make sure you have fresh air – daily. Camomile tea is very calming and fat free – use the tea to take a moment to yourself. Being alone even for a minute can help you to regain your thoughts and analyze what is going on in your mind. Remember you have the choice to decide how big or small things are to you. If you want to create a drama you can, and if you don’t want to that is also a choice. Try to read some books of philosophy or quotes that inspire you to keep your head up all day. No one said life was jolly and you can really make things mean what you want them to mean. Stop in your tracks and think about how you see the world, is your glass half full or empty?
Feelings follow actions, feel happy even if its fake and you will eventually start to believe you are. Your brain will start to believe this and will work the relevant chemistry in order-for you to feel this on the inside. If you have bitter feelings towards an individual try to think about strengths that the individual has. Forgiveness and letting go are very powerful skills that only the strong can master and benefit from. Know that every negative thought you have about others is indirectly raising your blood pressure not theirs. Think about this. Is it really worth it and can you concentrate your mind on something that will help you grow positively not make you regress negatively.
Don’t treat being down with pampering yourself. Often we feel a drive towards junk food or self indulgence when things are not going well. Snap yourself out of this and give yourself no reward for being grumpy. Often the treats that you choose are no good for you and give you pleasure only for a small moment. After the pleasure comes guilt and then you are back to square one. Notice what is going on for you and make a conscious choice to change your state of mind. Give yourself a little telling off if you must, do what you need mentally to change your mood. Eating, drinking and shopping will give you a shallow satisfaction and will only be a temporary fix.
Lower your expectations of things and stop nagging others. Often we relay on others to give us happiness and we have high standards of what we expect. Take a look in the mirror and think about what you can do for yourself. Being the former helps create a victim mentality, with this type of thinking one is never satisfied or happy. Try having a day of no expectations, see if you can do it! Take ownership and be proactive with getting what you want for yourself. Stop demanding from others and nagging. Take action yourself and try to be in the driving seat of your life.
Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier. Use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. Every night in a journal list 5 – 10 things that you are grateful and happy for that day. At the weekend read this back to yourself and feel the sense of happiness internally. If you struggle start with the basics: I can read, I can cook or whatever it might be. Have a go and see how much of a positive difference this makes to your state of mind. For more helpful information go to www.thinkspalondon.com. Good luck!