Psychologists have long said that holding grudges can only hurt you by shortening your life span. Repetitive processing of negative thoughts about another person or situation can only harm you as it increases your blood pressure and creates negative toxins in the body. However ‘letting go’ is not as easy as it sounds and can take time, this is especially true if we have been hurt or offended by the actions of another. Once forgiveness has been mastered however it can give you a great sense of being and lightness. Good toxins are maintained within your body and you can live your life positively without burning energy and being bitter. The tips below have worked wonders for my clients at Think Spa London, have a read, try them out and see for yourself!
Firstly, tell the person about your grudge. Confront the individual in a non aggressive way and share how you felt about the incident or situation. Go into the interaction with an open mind and really hear what they are telling you. Visualize the interaction running with harmony and cooperation. You will be surprised at the background of people’s actions, the more you listen the more you can understand. Understanding someone’s actions whether we agree or not helps us to gain closure on the situation and as a result we understand them better. If you are strong enough to explore the grudge you give yourself the self respect you deserve and show the other person that you have noted their behavior and have a view on it. Ultimately, you teach people how to treat you when you share thoughts on what you liked, and what you didn’t.
Secondly, it sounds weird but send that person positive energy. When we allow ourselves to become victims of a situation we can end up feeling terrible and sorry for ourselves. We are not nice to be around and can often get bored and frustrated with being upset and angry. A clever technique you can use is to trick the mind into feeling positive thoughts for the person you are angry with. When you do this you throw a bucket of ice cold water on the fire in your mind. Be your own best friend and calm your thoughts. When you calm your thoughts and send that person energy you detach yourself from the hurt you felt and have more control over yourself and the situation. You release the grudge and learn to slowly let go and forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean you become the enemies best friend, it is a simple way to empower yourself and be the stronger, better individual and as mentioned above there is stronger probability that you will live longer!
Lastly, if you have got this far in the article, you need to remind yourself that you are the better person! Life is as hard and complicated as we want to make it. You don’t need to join the ‘suffering’ and you really can create your own calm if you want to. Think spa London promotes this heavily and clients begin to live in a more liberated lighter way once they accept this way of thinking and being. Be in your own personally created heaven not hell and remember life is too short and you don’t deserve the stress of other people’s lack of self awareness.
Good luck!